


I'll Watch You Drift Away

by Themistos_Heart



Category: Guardians of the Galaxy (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Eventual Romance, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-05
Updated: 2016-01-05
Packaged: 2018-05-12 01:27:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 11
Words: 12,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5648737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Themistos_Heart/pseuds/Themistos_Heart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Denarian Saal died during Ronan’s attack and yet Peter meets him months later on a space station in the far reaches of the galaxy. What has happened to Saal and why has he no memory of the past events?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Nothing’s mine. And beware. English is not my first language, but I hope the story is readable. Because I don’t know anything about the comics, the fic is based completely on the movie. The title is taken from The Unwinding Hours’s lyrics to the wonderful “Annie Jane”. Enjoy!

Peter was bored beyond belief. Amestris Station was located at one of the back ends of the galaxy and the entertainment here was sorely lacking. Everything was geared towards utility and even the two bars on the station were far too pedestrian for Peter’s tastes. Damned Nebula. This was all her fault. They had heard rumors that she had been seen around these parts and of course they had investigated just to find out that the rumors had been false and they had travelled to the ass-crack of the galaxy for nothing. This was bad enough, but Gamora’s disappointment was even worse. She had tried to hide her feelings, but Peter had seen through her feigned indifference. He hated seeing her upset and he hated even more that she apparently thought she had to pretend in front of them, but he wasn’t sure how to broach this rather fraught topic. So he had taken the coward’s way out and left the Milano to explore the station. They had decided unanimously to leave the next day after they had finished replenishing their supplies. Peter was glad to never see this shithole again. 

Peter took a random turn and ambled along another drab and grey corridor. He had no hopes that he would find something interesting here, but this beat sitting around the Milano watching Gamora hide her pain and Rocket build another deathly gadget.

Peter was fiddling with his Walkman and he wasn’t paying much attention to his surroundings, so he didn’t see the man in front of him and he bumped directly into him. Peter staggered a half-step back and said, “Whoa, dude. I’m sorry, I wasn’t looking.”

The strong back in front of Peter looked vaguely familiar. The man turned slowly. Peter blinked in surprise and exclaimed, “What are you doing here?!”

Denarian Saal stood in front of him and watched him stonily. Peter realized that his words had sounded not very polite and he hastened to add, “I mean I’m glad to see you again. I thought you were dead, man.”

Saal grated, “Do I know you?”

“Yeah.” Peter was completely baffled. “It’s me. Star-Lord.” Saal didn’t react and Peter tried again, “I’m Peter. Peter Quill. Xandar? The fight against Ronan? Ring a bell?”

There was no recognition on Saal’s face. He still looked completely blank and Peter felt a chill. What the hell was going on here? Rocket had told them that Saal had been one of the many fatalities of the battle and yet here he was seemingly completely unblemished. And even more disturbing was that he wasn’t fucking around here, he really seemed to have no idea who Peter was. They had met and interacted! And Saal’s steady regard started to grate on Peter. His hazel eyes were not only expressionless, they looked empty. Peter tried to swallow his unease and said, “Not funny, dude. C’mon, Saal. Stop this crap. You know me.”

The longer Peter looked at Saal the stronger his feeling of weirdness got. Something was strange about the man and it wasn’t only the unusual civilian clothing. Saal’s empty eyes were starting to really freak Peter out. 

Saal simply turned and continued down the corridor. Peter stared for a surprised second after him, then he scrambled to catch up with Saal. He grabbed his arm to stop him. Saal whirled around. His right palm connected with Peter’s chest and sent him flying. Peter crashed into the wall of the corridor. His chest felt like he had been kicked by an elephant and the next agonizingly long moments he spent desperately gasping for breath. His ears were ringing and the back of his head throbbed viciously. Holy fuck! He’d had no idea Saal packed this much of a punch. He gently probed his head. A lump was already forming, but at least he was not bleeding. Well, that had apparently been one of his dumber ideas. What the fuck was wrong with Saal? The Denarian had always seemed rather uptight and humorless, but Peter was sure that beating guys up willy-nilly wasn’t Saal’s style at all. The Saal Peter thought he knew would not punch someone out just because he felt annoyed. Something was definitively wrong here. Peter knew that it was probably not a good idea, but he staggered back onto his feet and he followed Saal. 

Peter jogged along the passageway and soon saw Saal again. He was looking straight ahead and wasn’t paying the slightest attention to his surroundings. Peter nonetheless took care to not announce his presence. He wasn’t very keen on a repeat acquaintance with the wall. 

Peter hadn’t really looked at the layout of Amestris Station, but he was reasonably sure that Saal was on his way to one of the space docks. But Saal bypassed the arrayed spaceships, he headed instead towards the landing pods. What the hell? The station orbited the planet Xerxes and as far as Peter knew Xerxes was uninhabitable. There were a few mining outfits near the poles of the planet, but that was it. Nobody sane would wish to visit Xerxes. What the hell wanted Saal on this hellhole? Peter watched Saal enter one of the pods and a few moments later the small craft took off. 

+++

Peter stormed into the Milano and shouted, “Pack up, we’re leaving!”

“Yeah?” Rocket still tinkered with his newest gadget with tiny Groot close at his side. “Where we’re going?”

“To Xerxes.”

“What?!”

“You cannot be serious, Peter.”

“There is nothing of interest on this planet.”

“Guys. Guys, please.” Peter made a placating gesture. “Let me explain.”

He told them about his run-in with Saal and concluded with, “Something strange is going on and we need to help Saal.”

He almost expected some form of protest, instead Rocket asked slowly, “Are you really sure that it was Saal?”

Peter nodded and Rocket said, “How is that possible? I heard him die. There was no way he could have survived the battle. He was crushed.”

“I don’t know, man, but it was him. No doubt whatsoever.”

Gamora frowned. “And he attacked you?”

“Yup.”

“That’s very unlike the Denarian.”

“Exactly!” Peter sank into the pilot’s seat. “That’s the reason we’re going to Xerxes. We’re going to find out what’s going on.”

“Very well.” Drax took the co-pilot seat. “Take us down to the planet.”

 

TBC.


	2. Chapter 2

Xerxes’s surface was even more dismal than the view from the orbit suggested. The planet consisted almost exclusively of dangerous looking rock formations. There was no vegetation, there were no animals, there was no oxygen. Peter carefully threaded his way across the sharp stones. They had found the abandoned landing pod and a scan of the planet had shown that Saal had headed north. Peter still couldn’t figure out what the Denarian was doing here. 

The debris under Peter’s feet started to slide and he slowed his steps. He didn’t want to slice himself open on the sharp looking rocks and he focused more of his attention on the ground, which started to decline more and more. Peter finally stopped and the others came to a standstill too. The large mouth of a cave loomed in front of them. Peter wasn’t too keen on venturing underground and he hesitantly asked, “Are we sure that Saal took this way?”

Rocket checked his scanner again and answered, “According to the data, yeah.”

Peter suppressed a sigh and said, “Okay. Let’s do this.”

They continued on. Peter had to force himself to calmness when they were swallowed by the cave. He usually wasn’t claustrophobic, but this cavern set his teeth on edge. The cave was surprisingly spacious and the tunnel ran straight ahead. Gamora stepped closer to one of the walls and ran a hand over the dark stone.

“It’s completely smooth. That’s no natural formation.”

“Maybe this is one of the mining shafts.”

Rocket’s explanation was probably the most likely, but Peter had the strange conviction that this cave was something different. But because he couldn’t explain his hunch, he kept his mouth shut. 

Drax asked, “If this is a mining shaft, where are the branch-offs? There have to be at least some of them. And why are there no traces of the machinery on the stone?”

No one had an answer to these questions. Gamora pointed suddenly ahead and said, “Look.”

The tunnel was widening into a gigantic cavern. They couldn’t see its ceiling and the opposite wall was barely discernible. At the center stood a monolith. It was about the height of the Milano and its surface had the color of dirty milk. Peter hadn’t seen anything like this before. He asked, “Anyone know what this thing is?”

Gamora said, “Maybe this is an ancient place of some kind of worship.”

Rocket piped up, “Maybe this thing is valuable. We should definitively check it out.”

“We’re not here for a treasure hunt, dude. We’re looking for Saal”, Peter protested. 

Rocket shrugged, “I’m able to multitask. But fine, have it your way. First Saal and then the treasure hunt.” 

Drax interrupted them, “I found the Denarian.”

Peter pivoted and looked around. “What? Where?”

“There.”

Drax indicated ahead. Saal was standing in front of the monolith facing the stone. Peter shared a look with the others. What was Saal doing? They resumed their trek.

At first Peter wasn’t even aware of the sound, but the closer they got to the monolith, the louder it got. It was a slow, deep throb that reminded him somewhat of a heartbeat. The sound felt strangely oppressing. Peter cleared his throat and softly asked, “Do you hear this too?”

Gamora and Drax nodded, and Rocket answered equally quiet, “Yeah. And it’s fucking creepy.”

Saal suddenly placed both of his hands on the monolith. A green glow spread from his hands and then engulfed the stone. The beating sound got faster and louder. Saal pulled back from the monolith. He reached up, unlocked his helmet, and dropped it to the floor. Peter knew that Nova Corpsmen had a reduced need for oxygen, but this seemed excessive even for them. The others seemed to share his assessment of the situation, because Gamora sounded distinctly alarmed when she asked, “What is he doing?”

“Guy’s gone mental”, was Rocket’s dry answer, but he too started to run.

Saal had placed his hand back against the monolith and Peter couldn’t help but wonder why the man wasn’t choking. Maybe he didn’t need the helmet after all and their worry was all for nothing. Peter was finally close enough to get a look at Saal’s face and cold shock rippled through him. Saal’s eyes were glowing with the same sickly green as the monolith and his face looked like a death-mask. 

They were only a few steps away from Saal when the man suddenly slumped sideways. It looked like someone had cut the strings of a puppet. Peter and Gamora reached Saal almost at the same time. Peter fell to his knees beside Saal and turned him onto his back. His eyes were closed and his face was slack. Gamora had retrieved the discarded helmet and locked it back into place. Peter sighed in relief, when Saal took shuddering breaths behind the safety of his helmet. He looked up to Drax and Rocket, who had caught up with them, and said, “We need to get him out of here.”

Drax sank down to one knee and raised Saal into a sitting position. Gamora said, “Listen.”

The beating sound had stopped. The monolith’s glow was rapidly dimming and a few seconds later it was gone. The surface of the stone looked solid black now. A wave of almost crippling fear suddenly washed over Peter. He was no stranger to hairy situations, but he never had felt this afraid ever before. Not even the confrontation with Ronan and the Infinity Stone had scared him this badly. He just wanted to jump to his feet and run and run. He gritted his teeth so hard it hurt and forced his screaming instincts down. This was completely ridiculous! There was nothing dangerous here! They were alone here and Saal was definitively out of commission for now. 

Drax had hoisted Saal over his shoulders and they were good to go. Peter had to constrain himself not to run and he tried to calm himself with the thought that they were leaving at last. They had almost reached the tunnel when Peter glanced back to the monolith once more. He had the uncanny feeling that someone was watching him. Peter gasped in fear. A twisted shape rose slowly out of the base of the monolith. The lighting in the cavern wasn’t too good, but Peter found it nonetheless alarming that he could only see shadows. Whatever this thing at the monolith was, it surely wasn’t good. 

“Guys, we’ve got company.”

Rocket and Gamora turned. Rocket exclaimed, “What the fuck is that!?”

Gamora added, “I’ve never seen anything like this before.”

The shape moved closer. It seemed to… float. Peter still couldn’t detect any distinctive features and his fear sky-rocketed. Rocket had flattened his ears and he fired at the shape with an aggressive snarl. There was no visible effect. Gamora made a step forward. Peter lunged for her and grabbed her arm. 

“No, don’t!” Gamora raised an eyebrow, but made no move to shake his hand off. Peter continued hastily, “We need to get the fuck out of here.”

He had barely finished his words when another shape rose directly out of the monolith. Rocket growled softly and said, “Peter’s right. Let’s go.”

They retreated out of the cave as fast as they could. The shapes followed, but they were slow and Peter and the others managed to keep their head start. Peter’s panicked breath came in short, hard gasps and cold sweat was rolling down his back. He skidded and slid over the loose rocks and stones. The Milano finally came into their view. He felt so relieved his knees went weak for a second. 

They bundled into the Milano and in his hurry Peter nearly fell into the cockpit. He didn’t care. He just wanted to get away from here now. 

+++

“So, what’re we going to do with the lawman?”

They were idling around Saal, who was lying unconsciously in one of the bunks. His vital signs were strong and there were no visible or hidden injuries, but he just wouldn’t wake up. 

Rocket’s question was entirely reasonable. They hadn’t the medical equipment on board to deal with Saal’s condition and Peter wondered what would happen, if - when the man eventually woke up. Gamora said, “We should return him to Xandar.”

She was right. This was the most sensible course and yet… Peter didn’t like it. He didn’t want to simply drop the man off and be on his merry way again. He wanted to make sure that Saal was alright. But he had no good reason to contradict Gamora. This wasn’t their business. And Saal would probably be glad to be back on Xandar. Peter stared down at Saal. He almost rolled his eyes and had to suppress his gagging, because the cliché was so awful, but Saal looked surprisingly innocent when asleep. His perpetual frown was gone which made him look years younger. He had always thought that Saal was quite good-looking, and this new side of Saal underscored his point. Peter suppressed a sigh and he shoved his inappropriate thoughts aside. This was definitely not the time. Peter focused back onto the matter on hand. He reluctantly nodded and said, “Okay. Xandar it is.”

 

TBC.


	3. Chapter 3

The first thing he registered were soft strains of some sort of music. Then he became aware that his back was hurting. He rolled to his side to relieve some of the pressure, but this mitigated his discomfort only a little. He frowned and slowly opened his eyes. The dim room in front of him was blurry and he blinked several times to clear his vision. Apparently he was on board of a ship. It was unfamiliar to him. Where was he? 

Saal slowly sat up. He felt slightly woozy and the throbbing in his back intensified, but all in all he felt mostly okay. Why wasn’t he in his quarters? How did he end up on this ship? Saal tried to remember what he had been doing before. He had been on duty as usual and then… The Dark Aster. Ronan. Saal stumbled frantically to his feet. They were under attack! But no. They had been under attack? He recalled a battle. The battle over Xandar. The whole Nova Corps had been there. And… the Ravagers? Quill and his thugs had been there too. Saal remembered. They had not only warned them about Ronan’s plan, they had actually helped them. He had been at the front lines too. And then… Saal squeezed his eyes shut. No. Distorted images of fire flickered through his head. He remembered paralyzing fear and pain. So much pain. He shook his head. No. These memory fragments couldn’t be real. Apart from the pain in his back he was perfectly fine. He was alright. There had been no fire, no mounting pressure. He was fine. But why couldn’t he remember what had happened after the battle? Had they won? Had Ronan destroyed Xandar? Why was he here? Why couldn’t he remember? 

The door opened and Saal found himself staring in a pair of surprised looking eyes. It was Quill. What the hell? Was he on his ship? What was he doing here? Quill blinked and cautiously said, “Dude, you’re awake. How’re you feeling? Are you alright?”

Saal realized only now that he was breathing rapidly and he was trembling. He felt like he was on the verge of a meltdown. What was happening to him? He clenched his eyes shut. What was going on here? Quill gently grasped Saal’s arm and led him back to the bunk. He said, “You should take a seat, Saal. You don’t look so hot.”

Saal slumped back onto the mattress. He dropped his head into his shaking hands and tried to slow his breathing. He needed to get a grip _now_. When he thought that he had himself at least halfway under control, he asked in a rough voice, “What is going on here, Quill? What am I doing here? Why am I not on Xandar?”

Quill wasn’t answering, so Saal looked up. Quill looked uncommonly hesitant, almost worried. After another long, silent moment he cautiously asked, “How much do you remember?”

“What did you do to me!?”

Saal’s alarm returned with a vengeance. Quill raised both of his hands in a placating gesture and hastened to say, “Nothing! We did nothing to you, dude. I met you on Amestris Station and you acted…strange.”

Quill told him about their meeting and the following events on Xerxes. Saal was astounded. He remembered absolutely nothing about the things he had supposedly done. This tale was ridiculous! Outlandish! This couldn’t be true! He had never before heard about the station and the planet. He didn’t even know where they were located! And what was this talk about the monolith and the uncanny shapes? Saal’s confusion and fear turned into anger and he welcomed the change. Anger was good. Anger took his weakness away. This was surely just one of Quill’s mad schemes again. This had to be some kind of trick. Saal surged back onto his feet and ignored the sharp stab of pain in his back. 

“What do you want from me?” he nearly snarled. 

There was genuine surprise on Quill’s face and he retreated a step. He said, “What I want? Nothing. We just tried to help you. I… I was just worried.”

Quill sounded completely sincere and Saal felt himself wavering. Yes, Quill was a convicted criminal, but hadn’t he gone out of his way to help Xandar? And why would Quill trot out this insane story? What would he gain by this? Saal just didn’t know what to believe. He swallowed hard and asked, “What about Xandar and Ronan?”

Quill told him and Saal listened with mounting dread. His mouth was completely dry when he almost whispered, “So, I’m supposed to be dead.”

Quill helplessly shrugged his shoulders. “According to Rocket, yeah.”

So his memories about the fire and pain were real. But how was this possible? 

“So… Are you going to hit me?”

“What?”

“Are you going to hit me?”

Saal realized that his hands were balled to fists and he still loomed over Quill. He unclenched his fingers and stared down at his hands. He made an unsteady step back and slowly shook his head. 

Well, at least Xandar was safe and the threat Ronan had posed had been permanently removed. At least this. Saal took a deep breath. Quill softly asked, “You really don’t remember anything?”

Saal shook his head again. “No.”

“Well, fuck.” Quill’s curse sounded heartfelt. After a beat he continued, “We decided to return you to Xandar. Maybe they can help you recover your memories. Is that okay for you?”

Saal felt a hot rush of gratitude. He hadn’t expected this kindness. He raised his eyes back to Quill who watched him with open concern. Saal nodded his thanks. 

“Dude, you look like shit. Can I get you something?”

He shook his head. The only thing Saal needed right now were his restored memories, but it looked like that this was something Quill couldn’t provide. 

Why couldn’t he remember? Saal closed his eyes and he thought back to the little snatches of memories he could conjure. They had tried to block the Dark Aster from Xandar. He had been in contact with Rocket. And he had called him for help when the shield had started to collapse. Then there had come the fire. And the agony. Oh, it had hurt so much. Saal tried to shove these painful recollections aside to remember what had happened afterwards, but they were almost overwhelming. He had been trapped in his ship. There had been no way out, no way to protect himself. There had only been pain and fear and this permeating green light. He had squeezed his eyes shut to block it out, but the light had still branded itself into his brain. The green light had been around him and in him. It had been everywhere. It had burned. 

“Saal? Are you okay? Saal?”

The steady pain in his back had turned into raging agony. Saal felt himself swaying on his feet. 

He must have lost consciousness for a moment, because when he emerged from his pained haze he was lying on the bunk again and Quill was bent over him with a worried frown on his face. Saal wanted to sit up, but Quill pressed him gently back down. Saal was discomfited to discover how easily the other man managed this. Quill said, “You should better stay down, man.”

Saal licked his dry lips and took stock of his state. The pain in his back had subsided to a manageable level and there was a dull throb behind his eyes. He wasn’t exactly sure what had triggered his earlier episode. Quill’s voice disrupted his thoughts when he asked, “What’s this green light you were talking about?”

“What?” Had he spoken aloud? Saal couldn’t remember.

“Before you keeled over you were talking about a green light.”

Saal frowned. “It was inside my ship when…” The pain in his back flared up again. “It was everywhere. In my head. It hurt me…”

Saal couldn’t contain a pained groan any longer. 

“Take it easy, man. It’s okay. There no green light here. It’s alright.”

Quill’s hands were surprisingly gentle when he tried to calm him down. Saal forced his mind away from his recollections of the green light. The pain in his back was muted, but he still felt like shit. What the fuck was going on here? Saal hadn’t felt this confused and vulnerable _ever_. And no one seemed to be able to answer his questions. Enough was enough. Saal reached out to the Nova Force. He knew that the bond would be very faint due to the great distance to Xandar, but he just wanted to feel the comforting presence. He wanted to feel connected to something familiar. There was nothing. Cold dread filled him and he tried again. His link was gone. The connection was broken. There was only emptiness. No. That wasn’t possible. Only death was able to severe the link. What was going on here? For a split second he thought that Quill had done something to him, but he discarded this idea immediately. Nothing Quill and his friends were able to do could touch the force inside him. Had it been the green light? The pain in his back flared up again and Saal hastily shoved the thoughts about the light away. He took a few deep breaths to calm himself and tried to refocus on the situation on hand. He was surprised to notice that Quill wasn’t any longer at his side. He was standing over at the door and spoke softly with someone. Saal frowned. How had he missed this? What was wrong with him? Saal clenched his eyes shut. This was a nightmare. 

 

TBC.


	4. Chapter 4

“Mind if I join you?”

Peter looked over his shoulder. Saal stood at the entrance of the cockpit. Peter motioned for him to enter and amiably answered, “Of course not. Take a seat.”

Saal slid into the co-pilot seat and silence descended. Peter took the opportunity to study him obliquely. Dark circles ringed Saal’s eyes and he looked pale and drawn. It was obvious that something bothered him greatly. Well, Peter would probably be bothered as well, if he had a hole the size of Xandar in his memory and everyone assumed he was dead. Other than that Saal looked like his old self. 

“Why did you do it?”

“What?” was Peter’s intelligent reply to the sudden question. 

Saal explained, “Why did you follow me on Amestris Station? Why did you help me?”

“Why not?”

Saal gave him a long and measuring look and then answered, “Because I was one of the men responsible for your arrest and subsequent incarceration in the Kyln. I would understand if you still hold a grudge against me.”

Peter shrugged. “I’m not really the grudge-holding-type. You did your job. I did mine. No hard feelings on my part.”

Saal nodded slightly and said, “Fair enough. But that doesn’t answer my question. Why did you help me?”

Peter suppressed an aggravated sigh. He was stalling and Saal knew it too. The problem was that he hadn’t an answer for Saal. Well, he had an answer, but it was most likely not something the Denarian wanted to hear. So he shrugged again and offered, “Don’t really know. It was an instinct.”

“An _instinct_.”

Saal’s sardonic tone made Peter’s hackles rise and he asked, “Why is this so fucking important? You still think this is some kind of con?”

Saal seemed to deflate and he said, “No. No, I don’t think that.”

“Do you remember something?”

“Only bits and pieces. Nothing telling though. I remember mostly… fire.” 

There was a faint tremor in Saal’s voice and he swallowed hard. Peter had to swallow as well. He had never thought too deeply about the circumstances of Saal’s death and it never had crossed his mind that the Denarian had suffered this much. Burning alive… Peter suppressed a shudder. He cautiously asked, “How can that be, man? I mean, how can you sit here completely unharmed? There are no marks or scars or anything on you. I don’t get it. How did you survive?”

Saal shrugged. Peter prodded again, “Has it maybe to do with this green light you were talking about? We saw a green light back on Xerxes. At the monolith.”

Saal clenched his eyes shut. “I can’t…”

“Shit. I’m sorry.” Peter reached out. His hand hovered over Saal’s shoulder, but he didn’t touch him. He pulled his hand back and said, “Let’s change the topic, huh?”

“Fine by me.”

“So, what’re you gonna do back on Xandar? Any plans?”

Saal wiped a hand over his face. He shrugged and said, “Not really. I’m dead after all.”

His dry tone made Peter grin and Saal’s lips quirked as well. Peter said, “Let me guess. You’ll return immediately to the Nova Corps.”

Saal’s smile withered and died and Peter could practically see how he closed himself off again. Had he said something wrong? 

He asked, “What’s wrong?”

He was almost convinced that Saal wouldn’t answer his question. The silence between them stretched and started to feel uncomfortable. But suddenly Saal asked, “Do you know what the Nova Force is?”

Peter nodded. He was by no means an expert about the Nova Force, but he knew a few facts. Saal continued, “We Corpsman are connected to the Force and this connection is for life. Well, my link is broken. It’s gone.”

Saal sounded almost normal, but he couldn’t hide the desolation in his eyes. Peter asked, “What do you mean?”

“As far as I know there is only one way to sever the connection. Seems like I did die.”

“But that’s not…”

Saal interrupted Peter, “That’s not possible? I thought so too, but what other explanation is there?”

“What about the green light?”

Saal frowned like he was in discomfort and shrugged. He sounded pained when he answered, “Maybe. I don’t know. I can’t… I can’t think about it. It hurts. It did something to me.”

“Our scans show nothing wrong with you. But we don’t really have the most sophisticated equipment. I’m sure that they can help you on Xandar.”

Peter at least hoped so. He didn’t like seeing Saal brought this low. He actually missed the aloof bastard the Denarian usually was. He desperately wanted to do something to ease some of Saal’s distress, but he hadn’t the faintest idea what he could do. 

“I wanted to thank you.”

“Huh?” 

Saal said, “Thank you for following me to Xerxes and getting me out. I mean it.”

To Peter’s dismay he felt himself getting flustered. This was ridiculous. Star-Lord didn’t get flustered. And certainly not because of a Denarian. He cleared his throat and replied, “Don’t mention it. You would have done the same thing.”

Peter risked a quick glance at Saal, who was smiling. Peter frowned. Was the other man mocking him? He asked belligerently, “What’s so funny?”

“Nothing. It’s just that you surprise me again and again.”

“Yeah, that’s me. Full of surprises.”

Saal was grinning now and Peter had to look away. Amusement looked damned good on the Denarian. Peter suppressed a sigh. Under normal circumstances he would already have made a move on Saal, but he figured that right now probably wasn’t the best time. It was obvious that Saal hadn’t regained his footing yet and Peter didn’t want to take any kind of advantage of him. So Peter needed to be patient, which was not something he was especially good at. But for Saal he would wait. He had the strong feeling that it would be worth his while. 

 

TBC.


	5. Chapter 5

Saal didn’t know where he was, but he felt warm and comfortable. He opened his eyes and looked around. There was darkness around him, but it wasn’t oppressing, it felt safe. He was safe here. All his cares, his sorrows, his fears didn’t matter here. Ronan, Xandar; nothing did matter here. He finally was at rest. 

Saal didn’t know how long he had been floating in the velvety darkness when he saw it. A small patch of greenish light. The patch grew and the light got brighter. Saal couldn’t explain it, but he knew that the light was bad. He tried to get away from it, but suddenly the green light was all around him and it seared him in its intensity. Peace and quiet evaporated immediately. Saal desperately tried to shield himself, to burrow deeper into the protective darkness, but the light was everywhere. It filtered through his skin into his bones and it burned him. There was no place to hide, no way to protect himself. He choked on a scream.

The green light was wrapped like chains around Saal and he felt something pulling him forward. The darkness receded and Saal desperately struggled. He didn’t want to leave! He didn’t want to return to the fire and the pain! He desperately fought against the light, but he wasn’t strong enough. 

He suddenly was back on Xandar. He stood in the midst of unbelievable wreckage. The twisted and burned remains of his ship lay behind him. Shock rippled through Saal and he wanted to examine the wreck closer, but he couldn’t move! Saal tried and tried, but he had lost control of his body. He started walking through the ruined streets. Saal tried to stop. His legs didn’t obey him. Panic swamped him and Saal threw himself with all his strength against the green light. He invested all he had into his assault and for a second he thought his plan had succeeded when he suddenly stopped, but then the light slammed back into him and his body continued down the street. Saal’s panic finally overwhelmed him. 

+++

Sweat was rapidly cooling on Saal’s chest and face. He was gasping for breath and struggled to free himself from the tangled sheets. It had only been a bad dream. Just a dream. Or was it? Saal’s thoughts skittered away from the recollection of the green light. The base of his spine was throbbing with pain and he felt nauseated.

He sat up and swung his legs off the bunk. Sleep wasn’t an option any longer and he felt constrained in the little room. He pulled his clothes and boots on and ventured out. The Milano was silent and Saal made his way towards the cockpit. He didn’t necessarily want to talk, but he longed for some company. He stopped just inside the door to the main room. Rocket sat at the table and he had disassembled some sort of contraption. Little Groot was sleeping close by. After some consideration Saal stepped into the room. Rocket acknowledged him with a short nod, then he focused back on his work. Saal fixed himself a mug of tea and sat at the table. He slowly sipped his beverage and watched Rocket work and he was surprised to discover how soothing his tinkering was. 

“Nightmare?”

Saal was tempted to lie, but why bother? He grunted an affirmative and Rocket said, “Knew I was right. I know the look.”

Rocket showed his teeth in a humorless smile. Saal was curious to what Rocket was referring, but he swallowed his question. His instinct told him that this was a painful topic for Rocket and he didn’t want to presume too much. He himself guarded his secrets closely and he resented intrusions into his private life, so he generally respected the privacy of others. It wasn’t his business. 

Saal busied himself with his tea again. He still wasn’t sure what to do with his new life and he felt like he wasn’t getting any closer to a resolution. He still hoped almost desperately that Nova Prime would have some answers for him, but he couldn’t deny that a part of him doubted. Whatever had happened to him was far, far out of the ordinary and he was deeply worried by his continuing afflictions. He knew that the medical personnel on Xandar were almost miracle workers, but he had the sneaking suspicion that his problem couldn’t be cured with any medicine. He was afraid that there existed no cure for his problem. Saal suppressed a sigh. If his thoughts got any darker, he’d need a flashlight. He needed a distraction. Saal’s gaze wandered over to Groot. He had wondered before what had happened to him. He asked into the companionable silence, “What happened to your friend over there? He was larger the last time I saw him.”

Rocket answered without looking up from his tinkering, “Groot? That’s kind of a long story.”

“I’ve got time.”

Rocket’s answering grin was warmer this time and he launched into his story. Saal listened with mounting astonishment. Apparently he had misjudged Quill and his friends. Something about his thoughts must have shown on his face, because Rocket smirked and asked, “We’re not so bad for some thugs and criminals, hm?” 

Saal hid his expression behind his mug. Rocket’s smirk broadened, but at least he didn’t press the matter. Saal said, “So Groot sacrificed himself to save your lives.”

Rocket’s gaze softened when he gazed at Groot. “I guess that’s what friends are for.”

“Friends, hm?”

“Yup.” 

Saal stared into his empty mug. Not only had he misjudged them, he had underestimated the bond between Rocket and the others. He would never have believed that they would risk their lives for each other. And they had risked their lives for him as well. Maybe it was time to throw his preconceived notions over board. 

“You look like you’re thinking some weighty thoughts. Care to share?”

“It’s nothing… It’s just… I still don’t get why you took these risks at Xerxes and went after me. I mean I’m grateful, don’t get me wrong, but I just don’t understand it.”

Rocket shrugged. “Peter likes you.”

Saal’s utter bafflement must have shown on his face, because Rocket started to giggle helplessly. When he had calmed down again, he said with a broad smile, “It’s pretty obvious too, you know?”

No. No, he most certainly didn’t know. What was Rocket talking about? Saal cleared his throat. He wanted to protest, but he asked instead, “But why? I mean… Why?”

This time Rocket looked confused. “Don’t know. Why do your friends back home like you?”

Saal focused back on his mug and said nothing. Rocket asked, “What?”

Reluctantly Saal said, “A good lawman has no friends.”

“Ha!”

Saal kept his silence and Rocket finally murmured, “I can’t believe it. You’re serious. You’re actually fucking serious.”

Saal knew he wasn’t the most likable man. He was aloof and arrogant and not very approachable. He mainly lived for the Nova Corps and his private life was dismal. Quill liking him – preposterous. He had absolutely no reason to like him. Saal had done nothing to endear himself to Quill. Either Rocket was trying to pull his leg, or he had simply misunderstood something. 

But Rocket wasn’t finished with Saal just yet. He exclaimed, “Well, that’s a damn shame. But you’ve got friends now.” Saal had already opened his mouth to protest, but Rocket interrupted him, “Can it! We are your friends like it or not.”

“But Quill…”

“Forget it, man. Peter’s like a burr. He gets into your fur and you’ll _never_ get rid of him.” Rocket showed him an almost evil grin. “You’re stuck with us, lawman.”

Saal shoved his mug aside and leaned back into his chair. Since their last conversation two days ago Saal had mostly avoided Quill. He would never admit it out loud, but he felt a bit disconcerted around the other man. He wasn’t sure how to feel about Quill and as a result he didn’t know how to behave around him. Rocket’s disclosure didn’t make his situation easier. On the one hand he wished to deepen their relationship and he wanted to get to know Quill better, on the other hand he wasn’t sure if his wish was a good idea. There were still so many unknowns in his life and he still didn’t know what was wrong with him. And he still hadn’t taken the full measure of Quill. This whole situation was completely fucked up. He just didn’t know if he should step forward or back. 

The door opened and yanked him out of his depressing thoughts. Drax prowled into the main room. He stopped in front of Saal and speared him with a long, measuring look. He finally asked, “Denarian, would you like to join me as a sparring partner?”  
A sparring match? Saal had lost the edge the Nova Force usually gave him, but he nodded nonetheless. A bit of sparring wouldn’t hurt and maybe it would finally clear his head. 

+++

“What happened to your face!?”

“It’s nothing.”

“ _Nothing_!?” 

“We were sparring.”

“We?”

“Drax, Gamora, and I.”

Peter blinked slowly. Saal sounded completely nonchalant even though he looked like he had been trampled by an elephant. But if Drax and Gamora really had ganged up on him, his deplorable appearance was hardly surprising. Peter had already opened his mouth, but before he could say anything, the door opened and Gamora marched into the main room. Peter was surprised to see that she also was marked by their little sparring session although not nearly as severely as Saal. And Peter was even more surprised to see that she smiled at Saal, who returned the smile. Peter looked from Gamora to Saal and back again. What was going on here? He had assumed that Gamora and Drax had beaten Saal in maybe some form of retaliation for their prison sentence, but apparently he had been mistaken. It looked like they had bonded over their training. Well, why was he even surprised? He certainly had seen stranger things in his life. 

Gamora settled herself next to Saal. She said, “I wanted to discuss your strategy again.”

“Of course. What would you like to know?”

Peter could only shake his head and he retreated back into the cockpit. 

 

TBC.


	6. Chapter 6

Saal straightened his posture. They finally had reached Xandar and he was only seconds away from setting foot on his home planet again. The Milano touched down. Saal took a deep breath and after exchanging a quick look with Gamora he exited the spacecraft. Before stepping onto Xandar’s soil he hesitated for a split second. Maybe the Nova Force would reassert itself when he was back on the surface. Maybe the green light and everything burdening him would simply vanish and his old life would reassert itself. Maybe. Saal took the final step.

Nothing happened. Well, what had he expected? Life very rarely offered easy solutions. Saal shoved his disappointment aside. He needed to decide what to do next. 

As if he had read his mind Rocket asked, “What are we going to do now?”

“I will return to the Nova Corps Headquarters”, was Saal’s quiet answer. It was the only answer. Only the Nova Corps would know how to help him. 

Saal turned to Rocket and the others. So this was goodbye. He considered what to say to his rescuers. He was no man for grand speeches and gestures and thanking others was also not one of his strengths. But he just couldn’t walk away without saying anything. They deserved far more than that. Saal finally said, “Thank you for your help.”

Gamora slightly inclined her head. “It was nothing, Denarian.”

“Gamora’s right. It was a piece of cake.” Quill grinned broadly. “So, lead on. We’re right behind you.”

Saal frowned. “You don’t have to…”

Rocket interrupted Saal, “Yeah, yeah. We know, we know. But we dragged your sorry ass off Xerxes and now we wanna see this through.”

Saal wanted to protest, but one look at Quill, Rocket, Drax, Gamora, and Groot showed him that further objections would most likely be futile. He sighed deeply and said, “Alright.”

Saal would never admit it, but knowing that Quill and his friends were with him lessened his nervousness a bit. He knew that they couldn’t help him any longer, but they were there for him nonetheless. Maybe Rocket had been right. Maybe they were his friends. Saal turned and made his way towards the headquarters with his friends on his heels. 

+++

The almost uniform surprise on the faces of the Nova Corpsmen would under other circumstances most likely be hilarious for Peter, but right now he didn’t really feel like laughing. Maybe because he could also see the underlying suspicion in their expressions. And maybe because he could see Saal’s mounting apprehension. Usually the man was as decipherable as a sphinx, but now his indifference was slowly but steadily crumbling. 

The others were aware too. Rocket had already snarled at several Corpsmen and Drax and Gamora were wearing matching intimidating expressions. Peter knew why he felt this protective about Saal and he found it very interesting to see that the others were being protective as well. Saal had really made an impression on them all. 

They finally reached Nova Prime’s office. Saal hesitated for a moment, but then he resolutely knocked on the door. The door soundlessly opened and Saal entered the office. Naturally Peter and the others followed close behind.

Nova Prime sat behind her desk and there was complete astonishment on her face. She half-rose out of her chair and called, “Denarian Saal!”

Saal said nothing. Nova Prime’s composure had returned and she slowly sat down again. Her eyes seemed to pierce Saal and after a long and uncomfortable pause she said, “You were reported dead, Denarian. Your link to the Nova Force is broken. And yet you stand here before me, seemingly unharmed, and in the company of Peter Quill and his… associates. I would like an explanation.”

“I am afraid I won’t be able to answer all your questions to your satisfaction. There are a many things I don’t understand or remember. But I will of course tell you everything I know.”

Saal launched into his tale. He sounded completely businesslike and his face was expressionless again, but Peter still felt his barely suppressed agitation. Peter wondered if Nova Prime picked this up too. 

After Saal had finished his explanation – with several interjections by Rocket and Peter – Nova Prime leaned back into her chair. A strange expression was on her face and Peter thought that she now would tell them that she didn’t believe a single word. Instead she rose and said, “Follow me.”

 

TBC.


	7. Chapter 7

Saal sat in the medical wing and waited for his verdict. He had been poked, prodded, and scanned from head to toe. The numerous sidelong glances and whispered comments of the doctors were not very encouraging and Saal’s nervousness was getting nearly unbearable. Doctor Prian finally disentangled himself from his colleagues and came over to the waiting Saal. Nova Prime followed him. Quill and the others seemed to shuffle closer to Saal in silent support. Saal rose and clasped his hands behind his back to hide their shaking. Prian’s face was unreadable and Saal feared the worst. He just couldn’t image that he would be getting any good news.

“Denarian, we have analyzed our findings. As far as we can tell there’s nothing wrong with you. You are a picture of health.”

Saal blinked in surprise. “But what about the pain in my lower back? What about the… light?”

“Physically you are completely unharmed. We have no explanation for what happened to you. I am sorry, Denarian.”

Saal mutely nodded. If he was completely honest with himself, he hadn’t expected anything else. In his experience nothing was ever easy. 

Nova Prime and the Doctor exchanged a few quick pleasantries, then the medical personnel left the room. Nova Prime said into the strained silence, “I was afraid something like this would be the result of the examination. I had hoped otherwise, but I’m not surprised. But I think I have an answer for you nonetheless.” Nova Prime looked them one after the other into the eyes. “What I’m going to tell you now can’t under any circumstances whatsoever leave this room. Do I have your word?”

Saal clearly wasn’t the only one who was taken aback by Nova Prime’s words, but like the others he gave his acquiescence. 

“Good. Have you ever heard about the Dark?”

“The dark?”

“Dark. With a capital D.” Nova Prime started to slowly pace up and down in front of them. “It’s an old myth. Most people have forgotten about it and the few persons who are in the know never speak about it. A long time ago the priesthood of Gaumata got their hands on an old sacred text. They thought they had found a new source of power. They chose a small, remote planet for their ritual and they managed to summon something. But the summoned entity wasn’t their servant, like they had anticipated, the entity was the Dark. It was bodiless and formless and its power surpassed the power of the priesthood significantly. They were almost annihilated. The Dark started to spread throughout the galaxy and everything it touched withered and died. Everything turned to dust. The priesthood was scattered and decimated, but the remaining priests desperately tried to stop the Dark. The next part of the myth is a bit fragmentary. We don’t know how the priests found their answer. Maybe they found something in the sacred text, or maybe Gaumata intervened and helped them. Anyways, they returned back to the site of summoning and they sacrificed themselves. They had brought the Dark into our world and with their death they took the Dark with them. The galaxy was safe again and the priesthood and the sacred text were forgotten. The summoning site was abandoned. The Dark was gone. Until now.”

Saal was speechless. This couldn’t be true. He weakly said, “Nova Prime…”

She interrupted, “I know what you’re going to tell me. That this can’t be true. The priests mounted a white monolith in a deep cavern on the summoning planet. We don’t know about the actual summoning process, but they mention a sickly green light that permeates everything. The light seemed to be almost sentient and it followed them. It was able to hurt them. The Dark is a formless shade that seems to float. Do you see the similarities? This is no coincidence. I know this is hard to accept, but we have to face it. The Dark has returned and we’re all in grave danger. For the Dark we are only dust. We are less than dust. We are nothing. And it will spread and spread until everything is destroyed.”

Quill had been frowning for much of Nova Prime’s story and he now questioned rather incredulously, “The Dark? A summoning? Really? We really should believe this old wives’ tale?”

Nova Prime arched an eyebrow. “An old wives’ tale? And I assume the Infinity Stone was an old wives’ tale too?”

Quill looked sheepish and he had already opened his mouth, but Saal overrode him. At the moment he had other worries. “What does that mean for me?”

Nova Prime’s eyes were dark with compassion. She said, “I think you know the answer to your question already.”

And Saal did. A curious feeling of numbness was spreading through him. He felt almost weightless. 

“What’re you guys talking about?” Quill looked from Saal to Nova Prime and back. “Oh, no. You can’t be fucking serious! There must be another way.”

“Peter’s right! That’s insane!” Rocket was fairly bristling with outrage.

Gamora said, “Denarian, you don’t have to sacrifice yourself. We’ll find a different solution.”

Drax chimed in as well, “Gamora is right. We will not abandon you to your fate.”

The open concern of Quill and the others jolted Saal out of his first shock. And he was surprised to discover that he did trust them. He trusted them to find another way. Hadn’t they managed the impossible with Ronan and the Infinity Stone already? They could do it again. There was no need for him to kill himself. There was still hope for him. 

Saal’s and Nova Prime’s eyes met. What he saw in them felt like a bucket full of ice water. There was no hope, no understanding. She wouldn’t let them leave. Or rather she wouldn’t let _him_ leave. She had the solution for the problem and she wouldn’t take any unnecessary risks. And Saal could understand her. Were their positions reversed, he probably would feel exactly the same. He officially wasn’t any longer a member of the Nova Force, but he had taken an oath to protect Xandar and its citizens, no matter what. Could he really leave all this behind? Could he really trade in his honor for his life? Could he really endanger the whole galaxy just because he selfishly wished that this fucked-up tale had a happy end? 

Saal looked at Quill, Rocket, Gamora, Drax, and Groot. His friends. He slowly shook his head and said, “I can’t risk it. The whole galaxy is in danger.”

“Saal! _No_!”

Saal ignored Quill’s almost anguished yell and he firmly turned to Nova Prime. “I assume that I should return to Xerxes immediately.”

“We’ll ready everything for you, Denarian. You should rest in the meantime. Your old quarters are still available.”

Saal nodded. Without any backward glances he left the room. 

 

TBC.


	8. Chapter 8

“You know that this is nothing but a fancy prison cell, right?”

Peter stormed unannounced into Saal’s quarters. He angrily glared at the Denarian, who returned his heated gaze infuriatingly placidly. 

“I am aware, yes.”

“How the fuck can you stay this calm!? They treat you like a goddamn criminal and you sit around on your couch and let them trample all over you! The Saal I knew would never stand for something like this! The Saal I knew wouldn’t go to his own execution like a lamb to the fucking slaughter!”

Saal kept on simply looking at Peter. He finally said, “What do you propose should I do instead?”

“Fight this shit! We’ll get you off Xandar and to safety.”

“And then what? Then I can watch the galaxy turn to dust side by side with you?”

“No! There has to be another way. There just has to. We just need more time.”

“But we don’t have any time, Quill.”

Saal’s quiet words took the wind out of Peter’s sails and he heavily sat beside the Denarian on the couch. The view out of the panorama windows would under other circumstances be quite breathtaking, but right now all Peter was able to think about was how to save Saal. Everything else was secondary for him. 

“Do you really think so little about me?”

Peter’s head whipped around. “What are you talking about?”

“Do you really think that I would forsake my planet, my people, just to save my own hide? I swore to protect them, no matter what.”

“No. I don’t think that. I know how important your duty is for you. But I thought that you’d be a bit smarter about it. You don’t have to die to protect your people.”

“Well, in this case it seems like I do have to die.” Saal sighed softly. “Let it rest, Quill. The road ends here for me.”

Peter clenched his jaw so hard it hurt. He took several deep breaths to calm himself a bit. “I don’t get it. How can you be so fucking cavalier about this?”

“Probably because I’m dead already. I died six months ago.”

“And now you’re back to life! And I want you to stay that way even though you yourself don’t seem to give a fuck about it!”

Saal looked taken aback. He opened and closed his mouth several times, but no sound came forth. Finally he softly asked, “Why is this so important for you?”

Peter had vowed to himself that he wouldn’t do anything to pursue Saal until the man had some more time to come to grips with his new situation, but now he figured that his vow meant shit. Saal was about to throw himself happily into death’s arms, so they were pretty much out of time. Peter knew that he could spout some bullshit about being friends that Saal probably would swallow, but why bother lying?

“I think I love you.”

Saal stared at him with huge eyes. “ _What_? But… But you don’t even know me. I mean…”

Peter interrupted him almost angrily, “I know you well enough to know that I like you. And that’s beside the fucking point. I know what I feel. You don’t have any say in this. And by the way, I wanted to get into your pants since the first time I met you.”

“I see. Was that your reason for rescuing me? Because you wanted to get in my pants?”

Now Peter was really getting mad. “Don’t fucking insult me like this to my fucking face.”

Saal had the decency to look ashamed when he said, “I apologize.” He cleared his throat and asked softly, “Why didn’t you tell me earlier?”

Peter tugged at his jacket and tried to calm himself. Getting angry at Saal wasn’t the solution. “I wanted to give you more time to reacquaint yourself with your old life. That’s all.”

Saal looked oddly at him and Peter snapped, “What?”

“That’s… very thoughtful of you.”

“I can be thoughtful. In fact, I’m thoughtful as fuck.”

Saal’s mouth quirked slightly and Peter had to fight an answering smile. He asked instead, “Does this change anything for you?”

“Peter…” 

_Peter_. This was the first time Saal had called him by his given name. Saal looked pained and Peter figured that now was the moment the Denarian would be letting him down gently. He wasn’t interested in some empty phrases, so he tried to inject some levity in his voice, when he said, “Is this the moment when you tell me how flattered you are, but you don’t like me this way? It’s okay. Save your breath, dude. I don’t need your pity.”

“I wasn’t going to offer you any pity.” Saal was fixedly staring down at his clasped hands. “I wanted to tell you that I… I like you too. But this doesn’t change my plan. This only makes my conviction even stronger.”

Peter blinked in surprise. Saal returned his feelings. Saal actually returned his feelings. They still had a chance! He hastily said, “What do you mean? We can have a future together!”

Saal shook his head. “I can’t risk you dying.”

“I won’t die!”

“The Dark won’t stop for you. The Dark won’t stop for anybody I know and like. I can’t risk it.”

“Saal…”

Saal finally looked up. His eyes were sad, but there was great determination too. “Don’t worry about me. It won’t be so bad, Peter.”

Peter had to look away. “How can you say that?”

“Have you forgotten already? First-hand experience. I felt… I felt at peace. There was no pain, no fear, no worry. Yes, I felt at peace.”

There was a sudden lump in Peter’s throat. How was he supposed to compete against _this_? Saal reached out and grasped Peter’s hand. He gently squeezed and said, “It’s not your fault, Peter. You can’t save the galaxy all the time. This time it’s my turn.”

Peter roughly cleared his throat. “I don’t care about the damn galaxy. I just want to save _you_!”

They sat on the couch holding hands for a long time. Peter was still struggling to get his rampaging emotions back in check. He roughly wiped his free hand over his eyes and said, “Fuck, this sucks. Look at us. Sitting around and moping like a bunch of crybabies. Can this get any more embarrassing?”

Saal squeezed his hand again and said, “I’m actually feeling quite comfortable here with you.”

Peter swallowed hard. He was quite taken with this new side of Saal, but why did he see it only now that it was almost too late? This was fucking ridiculous! 

Saal suddenly leaned forward and gently pressed his lips against Peter’s. The contact was only tentative, but for Peter this was one of the best kisses he had ever received. After a surprised second he responded. Saal’s lips were unexpectedly soft and the wet slide of his tongue made fireworks go off in Peter’s stomach. Peter climbed over Saal and straddled him. Saal obligingly leaned back and his hands went to Peter’s thighs. Their kisses got hotter and needier and when Saal squeezed Peter’s ass he arched into the contact and moaned softly. 

They broke apart for a moment and they both were panting like they had run a marathon. Peter whispered, “Stay with me. _Please_.”

Saal traced Peter’s jaw with gentle fingers, but he said nothing. The tenderness in his eyes was nearly unbearable and Peter wanted to look away. Saal leaned forward and kissed him again. Peter wanted to press his point, he wanted to argue and debate, but Saal’s roaming hands were distracting him most effectively. Saal was stroking over his sides and his back and when his hands slipped under Peter’s shirt, he nearly purred like a content cat. Saal tugged Peter’s jacket off and rucked up his shirt. Peter disengaged for a moment from Saal and he yanked his shirt over his head. He threw it aside without looking. His whole concentration was on Saal, who gently mouthed the side of Peter’s neck. Peter had trouble keeping his composure, especially when Saal’s fingers caressed the growing bulge in Peter’s pants. 

He moaned in surprised pleasure when Saal bit the side of his neck and asked into his warm skin, “Bedroom?”

Peter could only nod. He didn’t trust his voice any longer. 

 

TBC.


	9. Chapter 9

Saal watched the sun rise. Peter was curled into his side and he still slept soundly. Last night had been incredible. Not in his wildest dreams had he imagined this development. He was glad that Peter was wearing his heart on his sleeve, because Saal himself would never have said anything. He wouldn’t have dared. Yes, the last night had been unbelievable. Saal only wished that they had more time. He wished they would have many more nights like this. He had the strong feeling that despite their differences they would have been good together. But the clock was mercilessly ticking for Saal and he nearly was out of time. Today he would leave for Xerxes. 

Saal was somewhat surprised how calm he felt about this whole thing. Well, “calm” was probably the wrong word. He strongly suspected that he still was in shock and that this was the reason he remained this unflappable. He figured that if he was lucky, his shock would hold until all this was over. 

Saal looked down at Peter. He probably should wake him and tell him that his time had run out, but he hesitated. Nothing Peter could say would change anything for Saal. A long discussion would only make his parting more difficult. And if he was completely truthful, he didn’t want to spend his last moments with Peter fighting with him. He didn’t want to hurt Peter any more. And he didn’t want to get hurt himself. He just wanted to remember their night together and not the inevitable fight they would have. He knew that this was selfish, but he didn’t care anymore. He only hoped that Peter would forgive him eventually.

Saal carefully disentangled himself. Peter snuffled softly and burrowed deeper under the covers. Saal felt a sudden tenderness. He gently caressed Peter’s tousled hair and brushed a soft kiss against his forehead. Peter was one of the most annoying persons he knew, but he would miss him terribly nonetheless. 

Saal collected his clothes and soundlessly left the bedroom. 

+++

Peter stretched languorously and he groped for Saal. His questing hand encountered only empty and cold sheets. Peter’s eyes flew open. Judging by the light the morning was already well advanced and there was no sign of Saal. Oh, no. He wouldn’t have. He couldn’t have. Peter threw off the sheets and hunted for his clothes. Where were his goddamn shirt and jacket? He remembered that he had discarded them in the living room. 

In the living room he found his clothes not on the floor, they were folded and placed onto the couch. A piece of paper lay on them. With a trembling hand Peter picked up the paper. A message from Saal. His handwriting was angular and bold and Peter had to blink several times to bring the few words in focus. 

_Peter,_

_I am sorry and I love you._

_Saal_

Peter crumpled up the paper. He struggled to keep his composure. Damn this stubborn idiot! Why had he to sneak out like a goddamned thief in the night? No. This wasn’t over. Peter pulled on the rest of his clothes and he stormed out of Saal’s quarters.

+++

“Peter, where have you been? We have been looking for you.”

Peter nearly bowled Gamora over in his hurry. He grabbed her arms to steady her and gasped, “No time. We need to take off immediately. Saal left for Xerxes.”

“We know. That’s one of the reasons we were looking for you.”

“You know? Why didn’t you stop him?”

Hurt surprise flitted over Gamora’s face and Peter regretted his vehement question immediately. This wasn’t Gamora’s fault. This was no one’s fault. He hastened to say, “I’m sorry, Gamora. That was way out of line. It’s just…”

“It’s alright, Peter. I understand.” Gamora gently squeezed his hand. “Listen, Peter. We think we found another way to stop the Dark.”

“ _What_!?”

Gamora tugged at Peter’s arm and they boarded the Milano. She said, “We focused on one of the most important unresolved question in Nova Prime’s tale. What’s going on with the green light?”

“And?”

Rocket’s voice came out of the cockpit, “And we were doing some serious research while you were doing Saal.”

Peter ignored the jab and asked, “And what did you find?”

Rocket said, “Nova Prime allowed us to check the archives. One of the priests left a log. He describes a lot of metaphysical and religious bullshit that is completely unimportant for us, but towards the end of the log we found a few interesting tidbits. The green light is the key. It’s some sort of extension of the Dark and it apparently executes the will of the Dark as long as the Dark is locked away.”

“Okay. But what has that to do with anything?”

“I’m getting to it, for fuck’s sake. Anyways, if the green light latches onto you, you can’t ever shake it. It stays with you for the rest of your life. The diary-writing priest was one of the victims of the green light. And he was apparently some sort of masochist or something, because he regularly tried to communicate with the green light. He thought that it was a god and stuff. But the kicker is that he actually managed to get some sense out of the green light. Apparently the green light provided the priest with a manual how to lock the Dark away.”

Peter couldn’t believe what Rocket had told him. “What? Are you guys serious?”

“Yup. We’re serious. But…”

“But what?”

“Peter, man. The manual is there, but we don’t know if it works. The priest was never able to test it.”

The wild hope that had welled in Peter’s chest was dampened a bit, but it was still there. This was better than nothing. To save Saal Peter would do everything. 

“Well, _we_ will test it. Guys, we don’t have any more time to waste. We need to catch up with Saal. We need to stop him.”

 

TBC.


	10. Chapter 10

Amestris Station was gone. Where it had orbited Xerxes, only greenish dust was left. Xerxes itself had taken some damage as well. Large chunks of landmass had vanished and the planet looked strangely lopsided. As far as Peter could tell the cavern with the monolith was still untouched, but he still worried. Who could say how the underground had been affected by the Dark? 

“There.”

Drax pointed ahead. Saal’s ship was waiting for him near the entrance of the cavern, but there was no trace of the man himself. Peter was fairly bouncing with agitation while Drax landed the Milano close to Saal’s ship. He had a bad feeling. They were running out of time.

+++

Saal stood at the mouth of the cave. A queasy feeling was slowly but surely spreading in his stomach. So this was it. 

“Denarian.”

Watchdog number one sounded hesitant, but it was enough to spur Saal back into movement. The longer he delayed his mission, the harder it would get. He took a deep breath and started his way into the cave. His two minders followed him in quite some distance. Saal understood why Nova Prime had sent them with him to Xerxes, but he was annoyed by their presence nonetheless. He had given his word to see this through and he meant to keep it. 

The tunnel was filled with the familiar green light and Saal’s spine started to throb with pain. Every step he made seemed to amplify his discomfort. He gritted his teeth against the pain. When he finally reached the cavern with the monolith he was bathed in sweat and he barely managed to stay on his feet. The monolith still seemed to be miles and miles away and he wasn’t sure, if he would be able to reach it. 

It galled him, but it looked like he needed the assistance of his two minders after all. Saal turned around. They were gone. He blinked in surprise. How? When? Had it been the green light? He didn’t have the strength left to go look for them. They needed to fend for themselves. Saal turned back to the monolith. This was going to suck bigtime. 

+++

“Peter, wait!”

“Goddamn it, Peter!”

Peter grudgingly stopped at the mouth of the cave and whirled around to Gamora, Rocket, and Drax. He almost snapped, “Move it, guys! Who knows how far Saal has already gotten!”

Drax said, “We understand your need for haste, Peter, but we have to be careful. We don’t know how the Dark has affected the tunnels and as you can see yourself there is the green light. Running blindly into danger won’t save the Denarian.”

Peter hated to admit it, but Drax was right. Here he couldn’t just jump in feet first and hope for the best. They needed to be more circumspect. Peter waited until the others were ready and they started into the cave together. 

The tunnels really had been damaged by the Dark, but they seemed to be solid enough. The green light made everything look eerie and somewhat unreal and Peter felt the same choking fear like back at his first visit. The green light seemed to curl itself around Peter and the others and he had to fight a panicked reaction. He hated this shit. The only reason he didn’t run away screaming was Saal. Peter gritted his teeth and marched on. 

Two shapes rose out of the green light. They looked like persons lying on the ground. Peter sped up. Two Nova Corpsmen were crumpled to the ground. They probably had been with Saal, but what had happened to them was not apparent. As far as Peter could tell they were completely unharmed, but they weren’t breathing any more. Their skin was cool to the touch already. Peter exchanged a long look with Gamora. 

“We need to hurry.”

She only nodded.

+++

Saal was almost halfway to the monolith, but he couldn’t go any farther. The pain was almost blinding in its intensity. He was down on his knees and he just knew that he would never get back onto his feet. He had failed. He had blown it. Saal just wanted to lay down on the cold stone, curl into himself, and forget everything. He just wanted this all to stop. 

Saal didn’t know how long he stayed down on the cave floor. All he could focus on was his pain. But suddenly a thought intruded into his pained haze. He wasn’t this doing just for the sake of the galaxy. If he was honest he mostly was here because of Peter, Gamora, Drax, Rocket, and Groot. He wanted them to survive. He especially wanted Peter to survive and live his life. If he stayed here on the floor the Dark would triumph. Sooner or later it would get Peter. He was the only one who could stop it. 

He didn’t want to die. He didn’t want to sacrifice himself, but he really saw no other way. He needed to do this. For Peter.

+++

The green light crowded closer and closer towards Peter and his discomfort mounted into almost dizzying heights. He felt like the light was trying to chase him away, but he was determined to reach Saal. As far as he was concerned the light could go fuck itself. 

They finally reached the cavern with the monolith. Peter ran inside and shouted, “Saal! Where are you!?”

No answer. He pressed forward deeper into the cavern. There! Saal was almost at the monolith. Cold dread wormed its way into Peter’s heart. No. He needed only a few minutes more. 

“Saal, don’t! Wait!”

He ran as fast as he could. Saal had reached the monolith. He touched the black stone. The moment his palm connected with the stone, the monolith changed its color back to dirty white. The green light flared brightly and then suddenly died. 

“ _No_!”

Saal crumpled sideways. A loud crack echoed through the cavern. The ground around the monolith seemed to slump. 

A pair of strong arms went suddenly around Peter and brought him to an abrupt stop. He fought against the secure grip, but Drax wouldn’t let him go. Gamora grabbed his arm and shouted, “Peter, stop! We need to leave!”

She was right. The cave floor was collapsing and if they didn’t leave now they would be trapped in here. But Peter just couldn’t bring himself to listen to reason. Saal was still over there. 

“It’s too late, Peter. It’s too late.”

No. No. 

“Peter, please!”

Peter finally stopped his resistance and he allowed Drax to drag him back towards the tunnels. 

+++

Their flight out of the cave was only a blur in Peter’s recollection. They bundled into the Milano and escaped as fast as possible from the planet’s surface. 

Peter sat on the floor in his cabin and stared sightlessly ahead. He still couldn’t believe it. He had been too late. He had failed. 

The door opened and Gamora entered. She watched him for a long moment, then she sat beside him on the ground. She wrapped an arm around him and leaned her head against his shoulder. Peter finally whispered, “Why didn’t he wait when I asked him to? Why?”

“I suppose he didn’t want to make his farewell even harder than it was already.”

Yeah. That sounded like the Saal Peter knew. His vision got blurry. 

“Why couldn’t we have been faster? Just five minutes would have been enough. Fuck.”

“I know, Peter. I am truly sorry.”

Peter leaned his head against Gamora’s. She squeezed him closer and said, “You’re not alone, Peter. We’re here for you.”

“I know. Thanks, Gamora.”

 

TBC.


	11. Epilogue

He opened his eyes. All his pain and his fear were gone. He hadn’t felt this good in quite some time. He felt like all shadows had dropped away. He slowly sat up and looked down at his hands. He didn’t know why, but he still was alive. He was alive and well. Saal smiled. 

He got to his feet and made his careful way towards his ship. His new life was waiting for him. Peter was waiting for him. 

 

Fin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


End file.
